So...today was officially the crappiest day that I've had in a while, and after all was said and done, and I was laying in bed in tears at the end of the night (tears due to a very personal, intimate thing that happened four years ago today)...I asked the love of my life if things like this...things that we wish had never happened, but KNOW happened for the best of reasons regardless....if these things get any easier.  To which he simply replied 'it'll get easier if you want it to get easier'.  Naturally I fell asleep from being so upset and exhausted from the day and from work....and I find myself awake now, sitting at my computer...thinking about his words.

Why is it that sometimes, we simply cannot let go of certain things?  Why is it that if we have a regret, or if there is something that we feel guilty about, we simply cannot just let it go?  I've been trying to figure this all out for four years, and thought that I worked my way through it only a few months back, and here I am, sitting, soul-searching once again.

I thought the creative process would help, I thought prayer and reflection would help...and it has....tremendously.  Maybe it is just that simple at this point...if I don't want it to hurt anymore...then I should just simply...not hurt.  Set down the bag of bricks...I've been carrying them long enough, and move forward, learn, be a kinder, gentler soul from it, and carry on........maybe.......